CHRISTIANS CHANGING LIGHT BULBS!
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the
spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. It is up to the lights, they will go on and off at
their predestined times.
Roman Catholic and Orthodox: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three
committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three . One to call the electrician, One to mix drinks
and one to say how much they liked the old one better.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him
how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey
you
have found light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to
write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal
relationship with
your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb
Sunday
service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted,
all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or
completely out, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip
bulb, or tulip
bulb.
Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday, August 19. Bring
bulb
of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review
church lighting policy.
Lutheran: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
Don't forget the JEWS and others!!!
Jews: They are still waiting on someone to come change it.
Moslems: They may kill whoever comes and changes it.
Hindu: There should be no lightbulbs as they cause the death of moths.
Atheists: They would never know they were in the dark.
Druids: They LIKE the dark.